Welcome to Week Three!

I am pleased to announce the addition of a recent picture of yours truly to the title of this column.  Our humble editor got his hands on a digital camera, so be prepared for current and perhaps frightening pictures of some of the Mustache Summer 99 contributors.   I got to check the recent growth of Must 'Stache!'s Jeff Swenerton and The Mighty Editor, and I was suitably impressed.  Bravo, Gentlemen!

Mustache / Moustache - The Holy War

One of the biggest controversies I have seen in my travails through the World of the Cookie Duster is over the correct spelling of that fuzzy critter.  Is it MUS- or MOUS- ?  Obviously, we here at Mustache Summer '99 are in the MUS camp.  On the other hand, there are other sources who stand by the MOUS spelling, to wit: The liner notes for Journey's Time³ box set state that the title of the song Cookie Duster  "refers to a moustache".  

Who is right?  For this answer we must go back into the history of the English language.  In ancient Greece, the word for upper lip or mustache was mystax.  Later, the Middle Greeks took the diminutive of this word, spelling it moustaki.  The Old Italians adopted the word (and just in time), and spelled it mustaccio.  This was used by the Middle French, who referred to their 'Dusters with the word moustache.  

"Aha!" I hear the MOUS camp shout.   Not so fast, me hearties.  The Middle French period was quite a ways back.   Once the English noticed that their men were in the habit of growing hair on their upper lips (1585 A.D.), the term reached its present, primary spelling of mustache.   Webster's Dictionary cites MUS as the official spelling, but does acknowledge that MOUS is a variant of this spelling. 

Sort of like thru being a variant of through. 

Keep Your 'Duster Dairy-Free

Hygiene and the mustache.  This is an important subject, since your 'stache is the closest thing to your nose.  Anything that remains in your whiskers will be your constant companion 'til your next shower unless you make an effort to keep it clean. 

I know from experience that dairy products can become unpleasant after a relatively short period of time, no matter how small a quantity.  Many times I have looked around to locate the source of a troublesome odor only to find that it was the remains of a cheese sandwich or glass of milk from lunch.  Now, I don't want you to become complacent and think that just because you don't have big chunks of cheddar clinging to your mustache, you're going to be fine.  The slightest film of butter is enough to turn a sensitive nose when it goes rancid an hour later.

Quick and Bitter Rant

OK - I'm suffering from a fit of mustachial jealousy.  My mustache is fine, but it just doesn't seem to be coming in a thick and as full as some others I have seen.  For example, see the picture of Our Esteemed Editor in the Articles section of the MS99 homepage.  Absolutely impenetrable.  Do you know how long it took him to grow it?  About four or five days.  Take a moment and go to the top of this page.  I'll wait...  OK - you see?  That's one solid month.  Sometimes I get irked, that's all.  Back to your regularly scheduled column!

Exclusive - The Cop Mustache Revealed!

Everyone knows that police officers love mustaches, right?  It's almost eerie how many cops have mustaches.  Well, I was recently the honored host to a member of the Los Angeles Police Department.  Not a guest of, dammit - he and his girlfriend stayed at our place for a weekend.  I showed him the Mustache Summer '99 site, and he was duly impressed.  I took this occasion to ask him about the persistent stereotype of the Cop Mustache.  What's the scoop? 

The Police Departments in Los Angeles and elsewhere have a Dress Code for their officers, which details how an officer is to present himself.  One of the areas covered is facial hair, which is only allowed in the form of a mustache, and cannot extend below the corner of the mouth.   If a police officer wants to grow whiskers, he must grow a 'stache.  That mustachio'd cop on the corner may be burning for a goatee or a Soul Patch, but departmental regulations help keep him from making a horrible mistake.

So Long

Now our time has come to an end.   I'll be back next week with some more items to discuss.  Drop me a line with any questions, comments, or 'stache reports - XianRex@mustachesummer.com - and I'll make you a star.

Until next week, Make Mine Mustache!

- Christian

Don't miss out on previous Dusters:

Preseason
June 21
June 28

Don't miss out on previous Dusters:

Preseason
June 21
June 28