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Beginnings are a very delicate time.  Know, then, that it is the year One thousand nine ninety-nine.  Mustache Summer is about to unfold.

This column is not even going to try to explain the majesty of Mustache Summer.  Easier to explain the wind, or the upstream journey of the mighty salmon.  Nor is it going to increase the world's knowledge of the enigmatic mustache, its origins, or its meanings.  That field has already been well explained, and by better scientists than I.

No, this column is going to be the musings of an amateur mustache farmer, tending his crop like the rest of you Joes.  I do promise to try and focus on one topic a week, but sometimes the juices get a-flowin' and I lose my textual traction.  On those days, you are advised to stand back and enjoy the show.

EXPLANATION, PLEASE

What's with the title of the column?
It's a nickname for mustache.  The reason why is left as an exercise for the reader.   I came across it as the title of an unreleased instrumental that Journey did back in 1976.  Remember those days?  Mustache heaven.  Not for me, though; I was eight.

Is this for mustache guys only?
Hell no.  And it's not just for clean-shaven guys either.  Or guys with beards.  It's for the average person with a passing interest in mustaches and mustache culture.  And beans.  And dogs that think they're people.

SOME TENTATIVE TOPICS

I've got ideas, people.  Don't get me wrong.  Yes, I have issues too, but I'm talking about ideas right now.  Over the 12 glorious weeks of Mustache Summer, I'm going to go on about these topics:

	The Blond Mustache
	Goths and Femmes
	Mustaches in Music (a multi-part item)
	Cops
	Facial Hair Problems and their Workarounds
	And Many More

In addition, I'm going to be giving a status report on the progress of my own personal 'duster, so that those of you playing at home can compare and contrast.

MY CHOICE THIS SUMMER