|
|
|
|
by Dr. Phar Likket, C.M.T. My Stache Is Heavenly (as in Valley)
Dear Dr. Likket, Snow Falling On Cedars in Ilinois Dear Snow:Back away from that razor! Easy fellow, we can talk this out. Dr. Likket has gotten a rash (bad word choice, that) of letters lately about the big "D" and I ain't talkin' Dallas. Unless you've gotten a tinea infection (it's bacterial, and it's rare), what you've got on your lip is just like what you get on top of your head: dandruff. It can be caused by clogged skin pores (sometimes caused a build-up of shampoo residue) from washing without rinsing thoroughly, or it can be caused by not washing enough. If you smell eggs and it's seven at night, chances are the stache could use a wash. Try a dandruff shampoo on your mustache, being careful not to get any in your mouth (I still have to say that). Usually the directions ask that you leave it on for a couple of minutes before rinsing. You can even do that thing where you shampoo one side but leave the other alone (I can feel it tingling!). Fans of non-Western remedies say that some tea-tree oil is just the thing for dandruff - check your local health-food store for some. Food and environmental allergies can exacerbate a dandruff problem. If the problem persists after a couple of weeks of home treatment, hie thee to a doctor or dermatologist. Split Lip Hair
Dear Dr. Likket, Big Hairy Ramblin' Bill, Oshkosh, WI Dear Ramblin' Bill:Yes, hair can be affected by environmental conditions like humidity, and a mustache is hair after all (but not just hair, heavens no). But, Bill - I can call you Bill, can't I? - can we just stop beating around the bushy and get to the root of the problem? You're not happy, are you, Bill. That go-go salesman's life has got you down, hasn't it? Answer me this, Bill: how's the stache when you're not rushing off to some high pressure meeting with an important client? How's it look when it's just you, being just Bill? Your mustache is like an early warning device, Bill, and it's telling you to slow down and take some time off. Take a stroll in the park and twirl the ends of your stache as you watch the clouds drift past the branches of oak, pine, and willow. Your problem's not with your mustache, Bill, it's with Bill, and the choices you've had to make. We can all use a time out to take stock, get our priorities straight, put our mustaches and our lives back into shape. Nobody's worried about whether a park ranger's mustache is combed or not, Bill - you know what I'm saying? Dr. Phar Likket, C.M.T. is a certified mustache therapist. He has a private practice in Lutz, Fla. Still in need of stache advice? Ask the good doctor, or read one of his previous columns: |
|
||
|
Return to the home of Mustache Summer
|
|||