THE COMMUSTACHE
MUSTAFESTO

Why bother, you ask? Isn't the mustache already a widely accepted facial-hair configuration?

To the shock of millions, the mustache has found itself the target of great hatred and fear among younger generations (the so-called "Goatee Generation," or "Generation G"). These cretins think nothing of growing furry rings around their mouths (or worse, dating the goateed), and yet they scoff at those with mustaches, snorting that mustaches are "only for cops or homosexuals." This not only betrays their ignorance, it shows a lack of respect for the two segments of our society that have kept the mustache torch burning while the rest of this so-called society trembled in the horrible darkness. It's time to put an end to this, and the best way to do it is to celebrate the goodness that is Mustache.

But Mustache Summer is more than just a way to combat antistache prejudice. It is a time of personal discovery for all men. Never tried to grow one? Now's your chance! Got a new stache configuration to test? Go for it! It doesn't matter how bushy or how thin, we are all brothers in mustache. There is no such thing as a bad mustache.

Mustache Summer is free. Mustache Summer is freedom.

Join us.